Wives to blame for cheating husbands

Well doesn't that say that men aren't responsible for their own actions! That is what is wrong with society....

Dr. Laura is a kook. I hate sharing a name with her.

If one person in a marriage is a busy and exhausted parent, and the other is not, then there are bigger issues than how available the former is for intimacy.

I am not a fan of Dr. Laura's. Never have been. I think this is another one of her off the wall comments that makes absolutely no sense.

just~me

OMG..are you kidding me? So a husband has no responsibility to the vows he made, give me a break!! We all have to live with the choices we make. Its take 2 to make a marriage, so if part of that bond becomes weak, it all breaks. It is not up to one side to hold the whole thing together. Obviously she has been brainwashed by some caveman.

"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but how we react to what happens; not by what life brings us, but by the attitude we bring to life."-unknown source

I certainly don't think women are "to blame" for their husband's cheating, but I do think sometimes women (and men too) get very caught up in what they want without thinking of their spouse. I have heard some of my friends saying they never want to have sex, so they turn down their poor guy night after night. I also have a girlfriend who's husband never wants to, and that has caused her a lot of pain and feelings of rejection. Yes, we are all responsible for our own actions (you can't blame the woman for the man's choices), but in a marriage, we BOTH should try to put the other person first. If both parties do that, we'd have a lot happier marriages.

Hobbymommy, 38, is a discussion leader from Mesa. She is a happy stay-at-home mommy to a 3-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son.

I honestly think that it is NOT a wives fault for a husband to stray - whatever Dr. Laura says I'm not buying it. That is insane. Really, it takes two to be in a marriage. If one is not getting what they need from that marriage either emotionally or physically then they should speak up. I'm an advocate for having 'open communication' yes the thing where two people actually talk to each other and let each know what they want or desire or need. Wives cannot read their husbands minds all the time as husbands cannot read their wives minds all the time. That is why communication is crucial in a marriage. I think it is so weak to say that it is one person's fault in a marriage (because they didn't do 'x,y,z') and that is why the other one had an affair. What it is, is a silly excuse. Making it seem as if the affair is 'excusable' when in fact any affair is inexcusable. Marriages are just like friendships - both individuals have to work at it to maintain the life of the 'marriage' or 'friendship'.

LisaMommy is a 38 year old discussion leader for arizonamoms.com from the Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area. Her two boys are ages 7 months and 3 years old.

Who does Dr. Laura blame for the affair she had? Don't you remember the naked pictures her ex-lover posted on the web? I am surprised she's still around and has the nerve to come out with a nonsense statement like this.

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.

I just talked to my honey. Turns out that I don't have enough money to cheat, so we'll just have to work it out. We think we'll start out by holding hands and necking at movies.

Sometimes I think Dr. Laura just says things that she knows is going to get a rise out of people. At least I'm hoping that's the case. Otherwise she a complete friggin' moron!

By the way, my hubby says HE doesn't have enough money to cheat. "Cause he knows I'd take the house, the kids, the cars, and after he pays his monthly child support and alimony he wouldn't have enough money left to buy toilet paper! Sometimes he's a smart man.

That's interesting...NPR did a show yesterday about Spitzer's career. In NY, he is known as being ruthless in his pursuit of people. Many believe that he sacrificed at lot of people along the way and that because of this, he was targeted for investigation. Most simply do not believe that his couple of thousands of dollars accidently caught the attention of banking authorities. The only good thing about Dr. Laura's comments are that someone may target her husband to make a point.

"Only a life lived for others, is the life worthwhile" - Albert Einstein

First off I don't think that another person is responsible for another person cheating. However, I do think that some of your spouse's actions can lead to someone cheating. Before everyone brings out the haterade, let me explain. I have been in a relationship prior to being married where my other half never (and I do mean never) wanted to have sex with me. That's no big deal, but then we never did anything together anymore (never went out, talked, spent quality time together). Before all of you say anything, no, I didn't cheat. But we had the arguement ALOT about if I can't get your love, devotion, time then maybe I should look elsewhere. I don't think it's just "on the woman" to make a relationship work though. I think that 2 people need to take care of each other emotionally and sexually or straying does happen. However, I personally believe that cheating is wrong so I bailed before I felt the need / urge and "looked elsewhere." I owe it to myself and my family to have morals and values and not cheat. It was better to walk out of the relationship than to stay in it and lie and cheat. Oh and I agree, she's a kook!

"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."

Humanity will ALWAYS let you down, so at what point to ppl finally realize to put their hope and faith in Christ? Some will never and they will keep blaming others or continue to listen to these talk show host and take thier advise when it fits into there life style and then they'll say "oh, well Oprah said this or Dr. Laura, Dr. Phil said that, ect. ect. It's ridiculous!!

And,,as far as a women sticking by their man after cheating. Alot of women everyday stick with their spouses, again and again and again. I don't think I could, but It's never happened to me so I don't know. I do have friends who have and I have friends who haven't. Until it's happened to one of you, I guess you can never say what you would do.

" just my Opinion"

I don't condone cheating; I've been cheated on before (by my ex-fiance--found out five days before the wedding, which of course, never took place). That being said, I have to agree with what some of you have said: it does take two to make a marriage work. I've got several friends who don't have sex with their husbands for months on end; lack of libido, lack of energy, lack of time, whatever, and they're so indifferent about it, like it's no big deal. I'm here to tell you, if we went months at OUR house without it (without there being a medical reason or some other extenuating circumstances), it would be hitting the fan! IMO, intimacy is extremely important in a relationship, and while we all can get caught up in the daily grind of life, it's important to still make time for our spouse and our marriage. Again, not condoning cheating in the slightest; if your needs are not being met by your spouse (and yes, some men/women cheat because emotional needs aren't being met) and you try communicating with them to improve your relationship with no results, then maybe it's time to think about walking away.

Sounds to me that Dr. Laura talks from a male perspective. Maybe there have been too many men in her life that have divulged all their info to and she took their side. I agree that the counter part in a relationship is not to blame. But then again there is always the oh well he/she also wasn't faithful twist. It all depends on the situation. There will always be the finger pointing and I am surprised that his wife had stuck by his side through all this. But when you are faced with the toughest obstacles in life it tests a relationship, if there was no faith then it will all fall apart but if it truely is made up of love it will survive. I have had my share of relationship testing and even though it took so long, I am glad that things have turned out for the better. No one is to blame except the one that did the deed........

Every person is responsible for his/her own actions. It is amazing to me that we are a society of blame shifters. "I can't get ahead because THEY won't help me." "I cheated on my wife because SHE is not affectionate enough." HORSEPOO! He cheated because he wanted to--pure and simlple. I don't know if they had problems in their marriage or not and it really doesn't matter to me one way or the other.

Bottom line, he stood before God and took a vow to be faithful and to honor his wife. Therefore, HE is responsible for his own actions and should be held accountable accordingly.

I don't know who Dr. Laura is but it sounds to me that she is teaching people to circumvent their responsiblity for their actions.

"The Lord is great and greatly to be praised." Ps 96:4

After reading the interview she didn't say the woman was solely at fault, she said they were culpable or partially to blame for it.

I think women that stick by a man are crazy.. If the man cheats he will do it again... If a woman cheats she will do it again! If your not getting what you need from a realationship, leave! Life is way to short to stay unhappy and not get your needs met. that may sound selfish like"my needs, me, me ,me.... Even if children are involved... If your not getting your needs met in the realationship then it's time to move on. I would rather my children say "wow, look how happy my mom is" than "my mom was sad and so unhappy"... I am in my 2nd marriage and I am happy and I wouldn't ever cheat. I believe in my heart that my husband wouldn't cheat.. If he did, I would be out the door... Just like if there comes a time when either of us are not connecting anymore and we feel like we are not getting what we need out of the realationship then after working on it it's still not happening. Then it's time to move on... Life is toooooo short.. Happy parents make happy children...

Elizabeth is a discussion leader for arizonamoms she writes about everything from her needing mommy advice to crazy and silly stuff that happens. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and 3 children.

i think that if a husband is that needy then he should not be a husband. its not the wives fault he makes bad choices. put the blame where it lies. and i would jsut be so scared to sleep with anyone that admits using the services of a protitute. that would be the time to not take care of his sexual needs forever