I hate to admit it, but my husband and I still don't have wills. It's something I think about in a panic every so often, vow to take care of, and put off. I NEED to do something about this. Two questions:
1. If you have a will, did you have an attorney do it? Anyone you'd recommend? Has anyone used legalzoom.com or other sites or software to do it?
2. We plan to ask my husband's sister and her husband to take our young boys if anything happens to us. I have a sister who loves the boys dearly, but is a less ideal choice (she's 50, has no kids of her own, and her husband travels a lot). I'm not sure if she'll be offended, or relieved, that we didn't ask her. I'm not sure if it's better to have that conversation with her, and risk that she might be upset about something that (hopefully) never happens, or not have the conversation and leave her a letter explaining my reasoning (the coward's way out). Does anyone have any experience with this or advice? I think she would understand, but I'm afraid to hurt her feelings. I also am aware that things change over time, and, who knows, down the road, life circumstances may make her the better choice.
These are the reasons I haven't dealt with this sooner!
Thanks for any advice.
My husband and I also need a
My husband and I also need a will, and we're considering one of those websites or software ones. Anyone have any ideas on these?
Thanks
My husband and I just had
My husband and I just had our wills updated to include our 4th child and revise our guardianship of the kids (we added a secondary gaurdian in the event the first was unable to care for the kids). Yes, you should have wills. There are a lot of software and kits out there, but frankly we were skeptical of them. We were concerned that they could be challenged, and we have family members that cause us concern, so instead we went the safe route. It cost us about $400 to have an attorney draw up a very straigtforward will. The attorney retains a notarized copy of the will. You retain a notarized copy of the will. It's a very safe way to go.
It was really pretty painless, though the "who gets the kids" conversation is never fun. Remember it's UNLIKELY. Just make the best case scenario choice. Get it done, and forget about it. You just really want to have it done and know it has been done right!
Hopefully there are some moms who can give advice on some less expensive, reliable options.
Susan & Neil Hampton have three spectacular children, Alexander, Isabel and David, plus one amazing teenager, Eric. Susan does community outreach for arizonamoms.com.
“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.” - Margaret Atwood
Although not an easy thing
Although not an easy thing to talk about, we did NOT tell those who will not have custody of our children if something were to happen to us. We have made arrangements, but feel those not asked will understand our reasons. We will be dead, so they can be mad at us all they like. (Nice huh?) Sounds kind of creepy doesn't it?
We also need a will and in my line of work, it has come up often, especially after 9/11. We have alot of things in place, but need the official, legal stamp of approval.
I, too, panic when I realize all this time has passed and here we sit.....
KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.
Guardianship is our biggest
Guardianship is our biggest concern. My husband and I both had issues about leaving our kids to be raised by family members and chose to go outside the immediate family. We have not discussed this issue with family because it would cause hurt/pain and could possibly (hopefully) not be necessary. We do have letters to family members in with the paperwork that explain our reasoning. I don't see this as a cowards way out, I think it would be mean telling them ahead of time because you are basically informing them that you don't think they are capable of raising your kids - regardless of your reasons that is what they will hear. At least in a letter they can read and re-read your reasons.
We prepared our wills using
We prepared our wills using over the counter software (Family Lawyer). It was easy to do (well, as easy as preparing a will can be), but my caveat is that we don't have any family issues that would, for example, cause my family to dispute the will. We discussed our kids custody with everyone before hand, so everyone knows who will take our kids should something happen to us. The conversation wasn't uncomfortable, as our families are able to put the kids best interests first. We have also prepared living wills and healthcare power of attorneys (what are our wishes if we are unable to make decisions ourselves). We have notarized copies, as well as our parents and the executors of our estate. These are all icky thoughts, but my sister died without a will, and we all learned the hard way not to let that happen again.
We also did an online will
We also did an online will and had it notarized. It worked out great since what we have and what we need is fairly uncomplicated--those we did have a few little tiffs over who should get what.
I would NOT tell those who you did not choose. There is no reason to hurt their feelings over something like you said, may NEVER happen.
Brooke Romney is an unbalanced mom of three young boys who constantly has too much to do, and too little time. She writes the Mom Beat column for The Gilbert Republic.
We used Legal Solutions, a
We used Legal Solutions, a paralegal in East Mesa. As soon as my son was born, we had our will drawn. I wanted in writing the only people that we want our child to live with if anything happened to both parents.
I think its crucial to have a will when children are involved. I want to make sure there is no arguing between the families, and also, make it easier on them.
One Happy Mom in Arizona.
I know many people who have
I know many people who have used legalzoom.com, etc. I also know people who just needed simple wills so they googled "sample Arizona will" and basically filled in the blanks. As long as it's notarized and witnessed, it's legally sufficent.
jesshod is an arizonamoms.com discussion leader living in Surprise.