Today I'm going to a funeral. It's not something I'm exactly looking forward to. Who does?
I've been blessed that I haven't lost anyone significant in my life (well, with the exception of a miscarriage, but that's different altogether).
I've gone to a few memorials, but that's it.
Today I'm going to a funeral to support my friend, whose dad passed away. He'd been ill for a while. She's overwhelmed with emotions. I'm going to give her a hug and offer my help in the coming weeks.
My kids watched me dress this morning and asked why I was wearing black. I only really wear all black at night events.
I told them where I was going. They don't really understand the concept of a funeral (they've never been to one), so I explained it in simple terms. This is also the first time they've seen me go to one since we moved here 7 years ago.
Alex asked a ton of questions, and Julia listened. She then said that she felt a little sad for my friend. I explained that was why I'm going to be there for her. And she said to take good care of my friend.
I smiled -- another life lesson.
Arizona Moms Editor Yvette Armendariz shares stories about raising her kids and tips for busy parents in her Time-starved (goddess) Mom blog. She and her husband are raising two children, ages 8 and 11.
Yesterday I saw a mother of
Yesterday I saw a mother of one of my daughter's classmates. The Mom told me she had lost her father a few days earlier and that her daughter was comforted by my daughter. My daughter just said she was sorry and that she knows how sad it is to lose a grandparent since she had lost her Oma. This Mom said she was amazed at how this little interaction made her daughter feel so much better.
Sympathy and empathy are such important traits. Soundsl like your kids are learning them already.
Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.
Julia has it perfectly
Julia has it perfectly right.
I have almost a photo image in my mind of the people in the church during my Dad's funeral, and I remember who made a point of approaching me to offer comfort and support. Their care made it possible for me to do my part (my sister handled the money, I was in charge of the funeral and cemetary, and my brother took care of Mom).
I was so afraid that I'd lose my composure, which would have disappointed my Dad (Mr. "my kids are mentally tough"), or added a burden to my sibs or Mom, or made me a poor example to my (already distraught) niece and nephews. I did start to lose it several times throughout the church service and burial, but, every time, someone caught my back.
Your friend will treasure your care for the rest of her life.
I also recently attended the
I also recently attended the funeral of a long-time friend whose father died in a terible accident. The gathering was rather small, so when she was delivering the eulogy with her sister, her eyes caught mine. I could tell she was totally surprised that I was there! A good surprise but a surprise nonetheless. Gosh, if one of my parents passed on, I would want my friends there, too.
My children provide such interesting insights to some of life's events that as an adult, I make more complex than perhaps they should be. Children are great for a reality check on the deeper issues of life :-)
Acts from the heart are rewarded tenfold.
Mouse_tales is a discussion leader in the East Valley for arizonamoms.com. She is a business owner, community volunteer, and aspiring runner (whew!), who most enjoys her roles as wife & mom. Her children range in age from 4 to 13.