How do you deal with nosey neighbors???

I have one of those...ARG!
Basically, I don't engage. I used to step out of the garage and chat for a few, but now, it's just a waive and a hello. I hate to have to fake being in a rush (or better yet, pretending not to see her. haha!), but I end up doing that just so I can't even give her the opportunity to start the yapping!

I'm so over the not wanting to hurt any feelings. It's annoying and I have better things to worry about than what kind of info my annoying neighbor is trying to dig up. Sounds harsh, but you know what? too bad! LOL!

It's not being mean, it's saving yourself from the aggravation.

I have a neighbor like that. I too use to visit with her in the very begininning, she seemed nice and when I first met her my husband was traveling A LOT so it was nice to have her to talk to. THEN I realized that she talked to everyone about everyone and put that to a hault. The worse part was my neighbor across the street (that both my husband and I get along with really well) started to have a "relationship" with her and it was hard to avoid. The good news, the neighbor dumped her and we haven't really seen her since.

"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."

i too have a neighbor that would visit shortly after we moved in. She came over a few times after our daughter was born. But now, she kind of gives me the creeps after a few comments she's made. I was still going to be polite and wave when i saw her and all of that. But now she has stopped even looking at us even when she drives right in front of our house. She also pulls in her garage and shuts it almost immediately. So, i didn't have to do anything.

Plus, she was also telling other neighbors things about us....like were preggers and then after our daughter was born, she was telling neighbors the new things our daughters been doing. So, after all of that, we decided to keep our distance, but still be cordial. But...we don't have to worry about that anymore since she has made it clear she's not really interested in chatting with us. I guess it worked itself out.

just~me

I'm glad that my neighbors just kind of keep to themselves; we do too.

jesshod is a mommy to 2 girls (ages 6 and 1) and is an arizonamoms.com discussion leader living in Surprise.

I can honestly say that I've never had one. We lived for 3 years in our first house....two years in our second and now 7 years in this house. We chat outside more with these neighbors because now we have kids, but all of the conversation centers around the kids. Oh, we also talk about our opinions etc. and our families growing up, but I've never felt that any neighbor was intrusive or nosey. What does your neighbor do that is "nosey"?

"Only a life lived for others, is the life worthwhile" - Albert Einstein

When we lived in Germany with the military we got turned in to the CPS, get this . . . because we didn't let our kids go outside and play. At the time I was pregnant, had a 2 year old, my 10 & 12 year old who were bookworms, if you put them outside, they'd sit under a tree and read, and two step children, one who if allowed to go outside would throw rocks through windows or at other kids, steal, and pick fights with kids way bigger than him. The CPS pretty much laughed it off and made a polite comment how crazy the call was, but they had to investigate it.

Single mom in Mesa to two great kids (8 & 10) and two great adults (18 & 20)

Ask them if they are writing a book.. That should get them to quit being nosey!

" just my Opinion"

Ask to borrow something EVERY time you see them. They will start avoiding you....

It depends on what kind of nosey your neighbors are.

Do they peek into your windows from outside?

Make yourself some microwave popcorn. Put a chair next to the window, and sit and stare back at them with a big bowl of popcorn on your lap. For added effect, let the kids join in, and pass the popcorn back and forth.

Do they poke their heads over the fence while you're in the back yard?

Tell them that you've invited the local meeting of Over Eaters Anonymous over for a skinny dipping party, and invite them to come on over; the first guest should be arriving at any minute.

Do they try to pump your children for dirt when they're outside playing?

Teach them to say this: "I'm not allowed inside, because my Mom's in there getting drunk with her therapist."

Have you seen them checking out the contents of your mailbox?

Start sending yourself postcards from your favorite detox facility or psychiatric hospital. Make sure each one is signed with a different name.

Do they peek out at you behind their venetian blinds?

Wave at them, and then have an antimated argument with your invisible friend.

Do they ask inappropriate personal questions?

Tell them that you'd love to share, but the conditions of the witness protection program are such that you're not able to do so.

Do they gossip about you?

Get some colored sidewalk chalk, and sneak out in the middle of the night and write a note to them on their driveway. For example, "Thanks for your concern, but my tummy tuck and face lift are healing nicely. I've made an appointment for you."

Are they constantly stopping by for no reason?

Post a sign on your front door that says, "Day sleeper. Please do not disturb."

Or let your kids answer the door and say, "Mom ran out to the casino. She should be back in a couple of hours."

Oh, and be sure to bake a nice coffee cake to welcome the new neighbors when they move in.

OMG, you have good neighbors compared to mine. I have lived in my house for 20 yrs. it used to be a bunch of gramma types and eveyrone got along great. they are dying and the houses being bought by California jerks. the homes in my town are about 6 feet apart. because they are located in the mountain side. we live in the historical district so there isnt much you can change without approval. so this lady moves in about 5 years ago. i went ot her door with cookies to intorduce myslef and she slammed the door in my face. ok soi let her alone. keep in mind that these oldhouses are so close together and yu can even hear peoplel across the canyon. i have dogs and they are well behaved but she would go to the fence and hit it with a stick and the dogs would bark and she woudl cll the police while she ws doing it so they could here. i got rid of one dog. they all hate her. then she would call the police even if the dogs werent home. she called the police 234 times in one month. i have gone to court so many times and paid fines but no more. the last time we went to court, she said my dogs were barking but i had invited the dog catcher to sit on my porch around the time she called every day. he was there, the dogs were at my moms and seh called. we went to court she had to pay a fime of $50 dollars and they told her she was going to pay it every time she called for a non ememrgecny. so one day her dog gets out and is running around the neighborhood. i grabbed my video camera which is what the judge to ld us to do so the humane offocer wouldnt have to sit on my porch. i followed her around as she chased her dog which was making all the dogs in the the neighborhood bark. so she got fined. then the calls stopped but i started getting flat tires almost every day. the air was out most of the time. then she keyed my car. i know it was her. then she spray painted my car with red paint. so we got a security camera for the side of the house that faces hers and for the garage( it doesnt have a door) sure enough we got her taking a bat to my hsubands truck and puttingroofingnails very carefully along the driveway. when we called the plice she said she didnt do it then we gave her a copy of the tape and she said that she wanted us to move and wasnt going to stop until we left. so they took her to jail ( she is 78 years old) but i felt sorry for her and went to drop the charges if she paid . she didnt. then all the neighbors got together and wrote letters to the judge so i guess she has been ordered not to do any more damage or harrass anyone in the neighborhood. (she does this to a lot of people) adult protective services cant do anythign because she refueses to talk to anyone. i hope she move but for now, sheis pretty much staying out of our way. until she finds another way to agragate us. now she only goes out at night and she is always peeking out of her windows whenever we walk past her house ( we have to becuse our garae is past her house. she can no longer yell obcentites at my son because he has left for college.

We really don't have nosey neighbors in our immediate neighborhood, we seem to have a lot of disengaged neighbors. I am not an outgoing person, but I was hopeful to make some connections when we moved in, but it seems like everyone is in their own world.
I will say though that the best thing we did was put a water feature in our backyard. Having neighbors so close is something we have not been used to in the past. It is so refreshing to turn on the water feature and tune out of what going on around us.

JuneSlager is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com, raising three children (ages 15, 14, & 11) in Northeast Phoenix.

My question is what kind of nosey? Nosey/observant can be good if they notice someone is taking your t.v. for a ride while you are in CA or that your paper is on the walk so they toss it up closer so no one knows you're away, or that your back gate is wide open, or that you left your head lights on, or something like that. They are also ones to notice when neighbors might be sick or needing help from other neighbors.

My neighbor told me he was going to be away for the weekend and that no one was expected to come by. Well his nephew did. So, I mentioned it to him. Not to be nosey, but because he wasn't here and may or may not have known. I wasn't staked out watching the house, it was just something I saw while doing my own thing. I'd want him to remark if he saw someone in my house too while he knew I was away.

So, there is nosey and there is vigilant. Nosey, if they are just looking for dirt, is bad (like Bewitch's Mrs. Cravits), vigilant has advantages. So, my advice would be to see if there are any good aspects to your neighbors interest, and then decide what to do.

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.