my sister is always havign parties of some kiind, tupperwear, mary kay, all kinds. i really cant go becasue she lives in flroence and i live near the mexicna border. i ws planning a trip to her house because my son lives with her while he is going to college and i am going to visit . so she cals me the other day and tells me that since i never go to any of her parties( i always buy stuff anyway) she has planned a foot spa party of some kind on saturday. not a problem i would love to go to one but the thing is that i hate my feet touched. have any of you ever gone to one of these things? do they touch your feet? i guess that is my dirty little secret but i jsut go insane if any one ever touches my feet or toes. it is called a margarita foot spa party. and what would you do. how would you handle this type of situation? im kind of stressing over that a bit right now. i dont want to hurt my sisters feelings but i would so much rather it was another kind of party.
I'll bet you do your own
I'll bet you do your own pedicure. You are not the only person who has those feelings about your feet. I'm sure they'd rather you be comfortable and if you are ok doing your own, then they'll be glad. Good luck!
I went to one and it was up
I went to one and it was up to you whether you wanted to do it yourself or have the "seller" put the foot products on. Every person there had their own personal tub for their feet.
Try not to worry - I am sure nobody would be offended if you asked to put the products on yourself.
Maybe just go to the party
Maybe just go to the party and watch the products be demonstrated. I can't imagine that the person talking about the products will be demonstrating on everyones feet, that seems like a lot of wasted time (and a lot of touching....eeeeewwww)
I see your point about having your feet touched. It's a valid issue. If your sister is aware of your issue then I think it's kind of mean of her to invite you to that type of party. Anyways, go to the party and just be an observer. No one has the right to touch you if you don't want them to.
Good luck with everything! :0)
♥ "LIFE AIN'T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL, BUT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL RIDE" ♥--Gary Alan
I say just be honest with
I say just be honest with her and tell her you dont enjoy pedicures or anyone touching your feet. I think its very valid. I had a friend who just could not stand anyone touching her feet too. She struggled to give herself a pedicure. As odd as it sounds - it really is not. We all have our own things we do or do not care for and yours is very valid. Maybe you can just tell her you'll go to visit with her afterwards for say lunch or dinner. Maybe she jsut misses you and wants to visit? Wishing you the best.
LisaMommy is a 38 year old discussion leader for arizonamoms.com from the Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area. Her two boys are ages 9 months and 3 years old.
Maybe, it's the mood that
Maybe, it's the mood that I'm in right now, so everyone, go ahead and blast me, but....are you serious? Is this really a tough situation for you to negotiate? I gather that you are not very assertive in life. If you don't want your feet touched, say "no thank you...I don't want my feet touched". Buy some lotion from the book (IF you want to), have a drink and visit. Are you REALLY "torn" about what to do here? Is your sister that mean that she'll get annoyed at you? I just don't don't get this question. Maybe, it's me?....If I want something, I say, "yes, please...I'll have some...thank you". If I don't want something, I say, "no thank you". No debate!
"Only a life lived for others, is the life worthwhile" - Albert Einstein
LOL....meow....(just
LOL....meow....(just kidding)
I have an issue with people touching my face....so I don't get makeup demonstrations, etc.....once my SIL suggested we go get makeovers and I said no thanks and explained that I don't like people touching my face, especially my eyes.....and as it turns out she was offended. Maybe it was the way I said it, who knows, but it was the truth, I just don't enjoy things like that. I don't mind watching other people have makeup applied, so I would have been fine with just watching her get one.
Hi Optimist - I'm not sure
Hi Optimist -
I'm not sure why, but I'm really struggling with your response right now. I tried to take the advice I was going to give, which is, if you're in a bad mood, or have a strong reaction to something someone says, there's honor in walking away and giving yourself a cooling off period before you respond. But, it's still bothering me, so I'm going to take your advice and be more assertive.
In my opinion, people post to this forum to reach out for a variety of reasons: to vent in a safe environment, to share information that may be of interest to other moms, to find some common connection. Is it our responsibility to invalidate others' reasons for reaching out? To tell them how they should feel? To correct their grammar? And is it my responsibility to chastise you for doing any of those things? I honestly don't know.
I do know that I rarely disagree with the advice you give; I just don't always love the way it's given. But does it matter what I think? Did you re-read your post while in a better mood and wish you'd written something different?
You've proven on this forum that you're a very smart woman. You rarely seek advice, because you've got so many answers. Would it hurt to be patient with those of us who don't?
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
GopherGirl is a discussion follower. She lives in the West Valley with her husband and two boys, ages 4 and 2.
I did reread it and I don't
I did reread it and I don't think that I said anything offensive. In fact, I'd venture to say that unless I mentioned "my mood", no one would have seen anything else in those words. I gave the advice that I'd give my little sister - "think about what you're asking - do you need permission to say 'no thanks'?" Sometimes, we can get so caught up in 'not making waves', and trying to be all things to all people, that we question whether or not we can or should say that we don't like or want something. I was direct, but my opinion is sincere. There is no reason for her to 'tip toe' around something that she feels strongly about. She can be sweet and polite, but I think that if she doesn't want to participate in the events of this party, then she should feel confident to stand up for herself. I tried to nudge that confidence...be that big sis who says, "damn it- say no if you want to!
"Only a life lived for others, is the life worthwhile" - Albert Einstein
Just make up and excuse and
Just make up and excuse and not go! I don[t like sharing any kind of beauty products.
Single mom in Mesa to two great kids (8 & 10) and two great adults (18 & 20)
Just be upfront. "You may
Just be upfront. "You may not have picked up on this, but I really can't stand having someone else touch my feet or toes. I'm looking forward to the party, but can you help me out? Can you give the gal who's introducing the products a heads-up?"
You might enjoy -- so long as you're in control -- checking out ped products. And any party with tequila can't be all bad.
I've posted this before, but, as it's been awhile, feel free to share this recipe with your sister.
One gallon jug or pitcher
One 5th of Sausa tequila.
One 1/2 of one 5th of Triple Sec.
6 fresh-squeezed lime juice
4 fresh-squeezed orange juice
Sweet and sour (not margarita mix) to fill.
This recipe is potent; at the very least, it should be served over ice. It also blends well in a decent blender. Dip the rim of the glass in Rose's lime juice, and then in margarita salt.
It's also good with two of my favorites: frozen strawberry margaritas and frozen strawberry/banana margaritas. You add fresh banana and frozen strawberry to the blender, and you coat the rim with sugar instead of salt.
No matter what the recipe, though, if alcohol is being served, car keys should be surrendered at the door, and someone who hasn't been drinking should be in charge of their return.
Let it be your day, and just have fun.
I understand that this is
I understand that this is more than just "what do I do because I don't like my feet touched". At least I think its more that your sister is allowing your son to live with her while attending college and you feel guilty because you are not there for her or him. The one time you will be there it is something you are not comfortable with so you get double the guilt.....
I went to one and we each had our own "foot soakin' bucket" and the hostess would come around and dump stuff in or with a tongue depressor scoop out stuff and put it in your hand for you to do your own feet with.
Drink your first margarita a little fast and then sip on your second one, you'll loosen up quicker.....relax. enjoy.
All due respect, Kelli, but,
All due respect, Kelli, but, uh, well, balderdash. In many families -- like mine -- kids move in with aunts, uncles, grandparents, older sister or brothers, or even cousins. There's nothing to feel guilty about; that's what extended families do.
My parents had at least one niece and one nephew live with them while they went to and graduated high school. My brother lived with our aunt after graduation until he got a place of his own (at that time, she had one son and two nephews in the house). My sister lived with another aunt while she finished her degree.
Both of my parents spent some time living with their older (married) sisters.
What guilt? I don't know how it works in your family, but, in mine, you earned your keep. If you had a job, you kicked in. Regardless, you mowed the lawn, did the dishes, scrubbed the bathroom and took out the trash.