I have gotten a lot of really good advice from all of the readers here so I want to hopefully get some opinions on a situation. We have just started attending a Christian Church and love everything about it except for a situation involving my four year old daughter's class. She has a teacher that gives the children a present if they bring money in for donation. I found out about this by chance when I had to get her early to go home. When I went in to get her, the teacher was telling the three and four year old children that if they bring in money they get a present but only if they bring in money. She proceeds to read names off a list and hands out the gifts in front of all of the children. When a little boy started to cry, she told him he did not bring in any money and did not deserve a gift. Yes, she used the word "deserve". So as I stood there appalled, thinking there was no way I just heard her say that, she told them that only the children who bring in money will get gifts. I did not see this teacher again until yesterday and she did the same thing . I gave my daughter money to see if this was still the way things were being done and it was. I think that children should learn the intrinsic rewards of donating to a church and any other charity or cause, not because they will get a gift for it. Also, I thought it was wrong to give presents to some children and not all. My last point to this story is that I was never told that this was the policy in the classroom and only found out by accident. Is this the way that other Christian churches operate? Does anyone else agree that this is wrong or am I overreacting?
I think you are correct in
I think you are correct in your reaction and no this isn't how our church is! We belong to a large non-denominational church and starting in the 3/4's on up they have an offering jar at check in. In no way do they require, ask or bribe children to bring in their offerings. Your child's class is teaching the wrong message and making children who do not bring in their donation feel terrible. Shame on them!!!
We have recently set up three canisters at our house. Whenever my son earns money- for whatever reason, we are teaching him to break it up the first 10% goes to his offering, the 2nd 10% goes to savings and the rest he can put in his Fun canister. He sometimes chooses to put more in savings or more in savings or sometimes he puts the 80% in his fun money. He can use his fun money for whatever he wants. But his savings never gets touched and his offering goes to church each week. We are trying to teach him at an early age the value of money, the importance of donating and also of savings. He wants for nothing and we are concerned he is going to grow up a spoiled child without knowing the importance of savings, etc.
So for this teacher to bribe these children with a present for bringing in a donation sort of defeats the purpose of donating. I would recommend you speak with the person who overseas the Sunday School and find out if this is routine in all of the classes.
JenM
I've been Lutheran my whole
I've been Lutheran my whole life (which is a Christian denomination) and have never experienced this myself growing up or through my kids. I agree that this is not the way to teach kids to give.
One way to open the dialog on this is to ask the teacher what the money goes toward (missions, supplies, etc.) This might open up a discussion on her philosophy of giving. It might be the teacher's policy and not that of the education program or church as a whole. I'd be worried if it were a church that emphasized monetary donations too heavily, but you'd likely see that kind of attitude in your services, too.
GopherGirl
You're not wrong, and you're
You're not wrong, and you're not over-reacting. First, try to find out if other Sunday School teachers do this: is your Sunday School teacher the problem or is the Church the problem. Talk to the pastor about it, find out what their policy on money collection is.
Then, if you don't like the answers you're getting, consider changing churches.
I wouldn't like the idea that a church is teaching that you should give because you get something over the idea that you should give because it's the right thing to do.
4 year-olds shouldn't be
4 year-olds shouldn't be panhandling for their churches. Not only is not getting a gift inexcusable, but making kids feel like they have to bring a donation each and every week is wrong.
Tithing is giving back with a free heart. You can tithe in action, word, or deed; giving money is just one form. Remember the widow's mitre, which Jesus said was as valuable as the riches given by a king.
I don't think the children
I don't think the children should be told that they receive a gift if money is donated or contributed, and plus, the others don't get a gift, so I agree with you.
I would nicely ask the teacher. "Now, what is the purpose of giving a gift if money is brought?" and, "I just hate to see the other children sad that are not getting a gift." Its the parents rights to ask any questions you want when it involves your children.
In the schools, kids donate, but I don't think that they are told they will get a gift for it because not every kid is as fortunate enough to donate an item. We should just give a big "thank you."
It's not fair to the kids that are unable to give money. Period.
DHC
I was appalled when I read
I was appalled when I read your email. No Sunday school teacher should be putting that kind of pressure on such a young child to give money. Shame on her. I teach Sunday school at a Methodist church and, quite honestly, I've gotten kind of lazy - I don't even pass the basket around any more because the kids never had any money to add to it (including my own!). I'd rather they learn the gospel lesson anyway.
I would approach whoever is in charge of Christian education at your church and express your concerns. If you like the church, it's worth trying to work this out. But if they stand by their policy (if this is a policy) you should know before becoming a member. Good luck!
Lattemom is the mother of three energetic kids ages 6, 8 & 11 and a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com.