So, my girlfriend is dating this huge NBA superstar and she has been for a few years. Who knows if they will ever get married but I'm a little leery. You sometimes hear how players will cheat on their wives and that worries me. I know for a fact that another player, that is married, only hits on married women b/c he told me he feels it's "safe". I told him he better change his ways or he will be a homeless/broke NBA superstar.. SO back to my friend... Now, this is my good friend and as far as I'm concerned it's not how big of a house he could buy her or the car or jewelry that I care about, I care about how he treats her. It's not all a fairy tale with him living that lifestyle by any means. Don't get me wrong b/c the way of life is fabulous and it is very easy to get sucked in and before long you are completely used to living a certain way. So my question is to you.... Do you think a lot of these wives know what's going on and choose to just allow their husbands a little indiscretion so they can continue to live their lifestyles???
Yes. Most of them also
Yes.
Most of them also worked very hard to be the wives fully knowing this. They'd rather be the one he goes home to and has the benefits of money than the one who is just used for fun.
i am neither ignorant or
i am neither ignorant or naive, but i would hope this is not true for ALL professional athletes.
Just because you have money, that's no excuse for cheating. And as a woman, it's no excuse to turn the other way and pretend everything is ok.
just~me
For some women the security
For some women the security is the priority.
I had a friend who used to be a pitching coach for the Dbacks years ago and he stated that at the time only 2 of the married men on the team had NOT cheated on their wives and only 3 of the staff members that taveled with had not (and no he wasn't one of the good ones). Sad, huh?
Security? I guess i see it
Security? I guess i see it more as a false sense of security.
Having a husband that makes lots of money, but that you can't trust to be faithful or honest with you doesn't sound like security to me.
I assume we are strictly talking financial security. If it is strictly financial security, I still think thats a sad way to live your life. There is so much you are missing out on, but if the social status, shopping, big house and the nice cars makes up for all of that, then i guess it's the life style for you.
We all have different priorities, i guess.
just~me
Yah I think that's what it
Yah I think that's what it boils down to in the end. The financials are worth the heartache.
I'm sorry but any woman that
I'm sorry but any woman that would lower her standards to accept a cheating husband for security (wealthy or not) is a pathetic excuse for a woman and clearly has no value system.
I'd like to hope these women don't have children, but I'm betting they do which is a shame because all their kids learn is how to treat a woman and how to expect to be treated by a man. I'm also betting these women probably never wanted to be mothers, but did so in the hopes that they could keep their man (and I'm using the term loosely) around for a bit longer.
If I was married to a man who cheated (again wealthy or not) I'd toss him out on his behind so fast it would make his head spin. No amount of money is worth my self-respect and I would never put my kids in an abusive situation. And yes I do believe it is abusive, maybe not physically (unless we're talking about Jason Kidd) but it most certainly is an emotionally and mentally abusive situation.
It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not.
I think it's more tempting
I think it's more tempting for celebrities, high-powered execs, prominent politicians, rock stars, and famous athletes to cheat; everybody wants to be near them, be seen with them, etc. But I don't think that as many of them do cheat as we might think. When George down the block steps out on Betty, it doesn't make national news.
I think that there are two kinds of popular kids (of any age). The first kind of popular kid is like the high school quarterback who just expects that girls will want to have sex with him -- after, all, he's the quarterback. The second kind is like Jordan Sparks. She was on Ellen not too long ago, and said that she might go to the prom without a date, or just with a friend. She might make an exception if she was convinced that a boy was asking her (and not an American Idol).
Personally, I'd rather be living in a trailer with laughter and love than living in a 5,000 square house being lonely inside. You can't cuddle up on the couch with bling.
Having experience in this
Having experience in this department, I do think many of them cheat. It happened to me and it hurt. I think there are two kinds of women who date athletes. One who date/marry athletes for the lifestyle and the other who date/marry athletes because they fell in love with the person and think that their love is different and he will never cheat. Well, they do. I know there are exceptions, but they are not like an ordinary man in that they have so much thrown in their faces by women everyday, I think the temptation is greater. What a man chooses to do when he is confronted with that type of situation is what sets him apart, but if he errs, he is still human. Some men cheat and some don't, but alot of athletes are on the side that do. Hopefully, your friend has found something real with him and when he is confronted with a tempting situation he will be able to conduct himself with grace.
Don't be leary just because
Don't be leary just because he's in the NBA. There are many wonderful examples of decent men/husbands, who happen to be professional athletes. Just as there are tons of loser guys who also don't make a lot of money.
Personally, I have 2 friends, with successful marriages, to professional athletes.
One, a girlfriend of many years, has been married to a former Suns player for over 20 years. Their life revolves around their 2 wonderful daughters and it has worked fine for them.
It was fun having them at our wedding!
My best friend from high school has 2 younger sisters (twins). I've known the twins since they were in 6th grade, and one met her husband in college. He was a baseball player and she was a cheerleader. They dated for 2 1/2 years in school, and have now been married for over 10 years. He was a #1 draft pick from the Yankees, a starting MLB pitcher, the $27M contract, etc. etc. But he's a genuinely fabulous man who is devoted to his wife and 2 kids. They fell in love long before he was worth anything. When he got his signing bonus, he bought only 3 things (saving the rest) : 1. a new car, a car for her and an engagement ring for her. They've always been practical and realistic about their relationship. Heck, even those cars were just Accords!...and it was a HUGE signing bonus!
And, yes, she travels with the small kids with him. By private jet...with several other team wives/families. :)
Happy2BMommy, is a stay-at-home mom who just turned 40 (argh!) with a 6 yr. old daughter and a 4 yr. old son, and is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Scottsdale.
I do think many times women
I do think many times women (especially young girls) can be lured in by the idea of the lifestyle and the money. They may even be naive enough to think that they could handle a cheating husband, but I'll met most of them don't think that will happen to them. Of course, there are some wonderful men that are pro-athletes, but the ladies that marry strictly for money to a cheater....well, I'll bet they end up with a lot of stuff and a sad heart. Cheating hurts no matter how much money you have.