So I recently read one of the topic about men and porn here and got sooo frustrated with us women!
Basically 99% of women said it's all fine since "men are visual". Dear women, you should stand up for yourself. Men brainwashing you. Following the same logic we, women, are entitled to go look for somebody to touch us since women are about sense.
I personally have absolutely nothing against porn and would even watch it myself, but those of you who are uncomfortable with this should not put up with it b/c of "men are visual" or "all men cheat, that's just our instinct". Remind them, that the instinct of a female in the nature is to have sex with as many males as possible to increase the chances of getting pregnant constantly upgrading. Let's not become like animals and remember that we are humans.
I think it's an unfair
I think it's an unfair comparison between a man looking at porn and a woman being touched by another man. Those are two different scenarios.
They are visual and no offense but some women aren't comfortable being a visual piece for their men. Why not let them look at porn? If we quit doing everything that made our partner uncomfortable or weren't in to we'd be pretty bored. There needs to be some comprimise.
I just wish men would
I just wish men would realize that the vast majority of these 'porn stars' will have truly tragic lives. Most women go into porn thinking it will be 'just for now' and serve as a bridge to a more 'respectable' career, but instead will find themselves in a world of drug and alcohol abuse, degredation and depression. Their careers will be short and when they are no longer 'appealing,' they will be tossed aside by an industry that sees them not as people, but as things.
I wouldn't want to be any part of such a soul-destroying industry, even as a passive 'observer.'
it is all about the
it is all about the equality. If we are talking about their senses it is fair to talk about ours. And the thing is that it seems unfair to you because you don't care if your man watches porn (neither do I), but there are thousands of women who do, and for them is is just as fair to be touched by another man as to know that their man looks at another woman. YOU SHOULD BE EQUAL IN THE RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE IN!
All I'm saying is that is is personal choice, but don't let the men foolish you.
Well then if you are going
Well then if you are going for equality then you should go for a visual equal. I'm sorry but I'm betting most women would be more enraged finding their man being intimate with another woman than with a porn because it's different and none would ever go for "it's an equal sense stimulation" argument.
Who was talking about being
Who was talking about being intimate? One can get sense stimulations without any intimacy (e.g lap dance, massage etc.). But that's not the point.
The point is that we both have senses and instincts. And if a woman feels uncomfortable with the man's visual sense, but at the same time is expected to control her senses, that IS unfair.
What I'm trying to say that if women can control their senses and instincts, so can men. And it is absolutely fair to ask for it your partner.
And yes, most women would be OK with that, which doesn't make it right
Many psychology studies on
Many psychology studies on social comparison have shown that in at least one way, porn is not without consequences. If a husband and wife get all dolled up and attend a party, most men find that their wives are among the most attractive women in the room and rate them so. If that same couple attends a party filled with models, then the men find their wives less attractive. Humans are easily desensitized. Women who "understand" why and thus, don't object to their men viewing porn, are allowing their looks to be judged more harshly and negatively by their husbands. And, as vehemently as men may deny this, is a strong as the evidence to the contrary shows. This level of satisfaction with the attractiveness of one's spouse in largely unconscience. If men are so visual, then women need to understand that their man's level of attractiveness to her, is directly affected by him veiwing porn. And since, mutual attraction is a pillar of a satisfying marriage, women should consider this, when deciding whether or not to object. There are many studies where men were put into comparison situations, unwittingly, and unfortunately, men are consistent. If you want to keep that spark as strong as possible, then you may want to consider encouraging your man to only have previous images and memories of you to compare.
"Only a life lived for others, is the life worthwhile" - Albert Einstein
I also feel it skews men's
I also feel it skews men's expectation of what a real woman's sexual appetite should be........as if all women should be begging for sex constantly because that's how they portray it in porn, and if they can't keep up that level of enthusiasm they must be "frigid" and "cold".
Porn destroys relationships and ruins marriages.
I completely agree with you.
I completely agree with you.
Hobbymommy, 38, is a discussion leader from Mesa. She is a happy stay-at-home mommy to a 3-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son.
I agree that a lot of men do
I agree that a lot of men do believe that women should be wanting sex all time 'cause the women in porns do.
jesshod is an arizonamoms.com discussion leader living in Surprise.
I have to disagree here. My
I have to disagree here. My husband did the porn thing, I am cool with him looking at it. We sometimes shared collections.
But to say that men expect women to beg for sex all the time is wrong. I would say half the men will want a woman that way. I know my husband is not that way. He wants me to stop begging for it all the time. But I guess I can be the exception for the woman then right?
I totally agree with
I totally agree with Optimist and Katy. For us to have a great intimate relationship, I have to know I am the one my husband wants, not that he is turned on by somone or something else. Where is the fun in that? Guaranteed I would be more self concious and less sexy once that happened. I also think the more you get into, the more you need. What once satisfied no longer does.
Not to mention the amount of men who become addicts or in their need for more stimulation go down the roads of child porn, etc.
I would NEVER be okay with that in my marriage. I feel too strong about the person I am to let myself be put in a number 2 position.
Brooke Romney is an unbalanced mom of three young boys who constantly has too much to do, and too little time. She writes the Mom Beat column for The Gilbert Republic.
Don't think that all women
Don't think that all women go along with men and their porn. It use to make me so aggravated on some topics too, but then I realize that this is just a small fraction of opinions. I know many couples, friends, relatives that wouldn't go along with some of this stuff and this keeps me positive.
So, I'm on your side. There is nothing that I will go along with if I don't want to. If I feel uncomfortable, then I will not be around it. Women must stand up for their beliefs. If we don't stand up for ourself then who will.
One Happy Mom in Arizona.
I am just sick of the shows
I am just sick of the shows and books that brain wash us women by trying to explain scientifically why men cheat, watch football all day long etc. Like we women don't have any senses and instincts to control. It is like we live in a society where women must be in control, but men are allowed to use instincts as an excuse. But you are right, I'm new to the forum, so take everything too serious :)
Would you want your daughter
Would you want your daughter doing this?
All those who think porn is ok and who 'enjoy it' once in awhile or whatever, would you be proud if your little girl grew up to be a porn star? Would you brag about her 'great career' to your family and friends? Would you encourage them to 'see her movies' and 'buy her pictures?' Would you think "wow, I'm so glad my girl is in this industry!"?
If not, then why support it? Everyone in these movies and pictures is SOMEBODY'S child.
If my child ever does
If my child ever does something like this, it will be my fault and nobody else's. So I don't thing that boycott would help to solve those girls' issues. I also enjoy a good massage, but wouldn't be too proud if that's all my girl could achieve in her life. We all want the best for our kids.
I respect your opinion and glad that somebody out there doesn't just excuse their man by blaming everything on "instincts" that in my opinion can and should be controlled by humans if needed. However it is a personal choice.
Oh, and by the way, I would definitely prefer being the only woman my husband sees naked. No matter what we do ourself we still want to be the only ones :)
I think, for the most part,
I think, for the most part, I'll just stay out of this one. My husband views porn on occasion, and we also, as a couple, have watched together. Honestly, though he obviously "appreciates" it (he wouldn't view it otherwise, right?), he doesn't get turned on by it. He doesn't expect me to be like any woman he's seen in porn, nor would he want me to be. We have a healthy relationship, and I'm able to turn him on more than any image he might see.