Stay-at-home mom envy

I am a stay at home mother to two children. I am going to college at night. I have been able to stay with my kids since they were born while my husband works during the day. I love being able to be at home with them, but sometimes I just want to get out and have alone time. My son starts kindergarten this August so it will be weird without him. I have my baby daughter to attend to now so she will keep me busy. I have always just loved being home taking care of the kids and the home while my husband takes care of us. Be proud of your career, I am going to school so I can have one too. Then no more stay at home mom for me. It will be weird after being one for 6 years.

I was a sufferer too, until I got to be one, for a bit.

Now, I don't think it is so much stay-at-home mom envy. It's more like, how-do-other-moms-do-it envy? Even when I did stay at home with my kids, not ONCE did I manage to fall asleep on the sofa watching Oprah. In fact, if I could have tolerated an entire episode of Oprah, I would have smacked myself for wasting the time doing THAT and not playing chess with the 8 year old, doing art with the 5 year old, or flashcards with the baby, or some other thing I was thinking I should have been doing as a SAHM. I read a few cookbooks, sort of. Didn't crack one novel. Didn't join one club. Tan? are you kidding me?

We build up so many expectations of ourselves, no matter what "kind" of mom we are. I didn't fail as a stay at home mom so much as I just couldn't meet my own expectations. These days I'm just happy when I make it home, make dinner, and everyone gets to bed in pajamas (as opposed to their swimsuits).

Susan is mom to Alexander, Isabel, David and stepmom to Eric. Make sure your email address is current, we'll be giving out great prizes DAILY in September after our site makeover! Don't miss out!

I was a SAHM twice in my mommy life. Once when I moved to Copperas Cove, TX and for a while after I had my daughter and I will admit this...I got bored. However my ex husband loved it. To fill my days with something other than just being a mommy, I cleaned and cooked. And when I say clean I mean got on my hands and knees scrubbing a floor with a sponge and when I say cooking I mean I cooked every meal, breakfast, lunch (my husband would have a full on lunch when he came home at 11:30 am waiting) and dinner with a dessert. I did it for 2 months and then said, "I've got to get a job, any job or I will lose my mind." Same cycle repeated after having my daughter. Don't get me wrong either, I sometimes wish I could just take some time off to spend with them, but after a week, I need a job lol.

I do think teachers have the best of both worlds though...especially if it's a modified year round school setting!

"It's not to late to become who you've always wanted to be..."

I am a SAHM. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think i could be a SAHM. At first it was, i am taking maternity leave. Then it was i am taking 6 months off. Then it became i am taking two years off and now, well...you get the idea.

I wish i could say i am never rushing anywhere. I admit, i could never stay in my pj's all morning, or not do my hair or make up, but i have too. It makes me feel better about myself. Plus, my daughter and i are always on the go, but at the same time keeping her on a nap schedule. And when i say we are always on the go, i don't mean the mall. I am one of those strange women who keeps their mall times limited, because shopping is just not that much fun for me.

Now that i have said all of that.....I am not going to lie and tell you all that i am just as busy or busier then all of you. I have had the conversation with my husband many times when he thinks things are getting what he considers stressful. (I say what he considers stressful, because i can handle more stress then he can - yes, he will admit that) I remind him how much more stressful life would be if i were also working. Getting home after a 10 hour work day, making dinner, getting a child out the door who doesn't want to get out of bed, play time, which one of us will call in sick if our daughter cannot go to school, etc...

I miss working sometimes, but i also know that i am just not prepared to put my daughter in day care at 20 months old. So we keep busy with lots of other classes on a regular basis.

I admire all of you working moms for what you do!!

just~me

I can relate to all of these posts.

I'm a SAHM now with my 4th child, and have been at home with her for 2 years. I want to be at work!!

With my middle 3rd I had to be back at work when she was 9wks old, it stung and I cried every day for months. I wanted to be at home!

With my 2nd I returned to work when he was 7 months old because I couldn't stand to be at home another day. I was so bored and I wanted to be at work. When I started working I cried and cried, I wanted to be at home again!

With my first I was home for the first three years of his life and loved every minute of it. We swam, we went to playgroup, we did flashcards, drawing lessons, you name it we did it. We were so busy all the time I was glad to be at work and not racing around everywhere. It didnt take long and I wanted to be at home again though.

I think whatever role you play as a parent you always have high expectations and try to be super woman until eventually you want to switch because maybe you'll be better at it another way. Arent we funny?

Karina, I understand what you are saying. Because of my job there are times when I wish I had another career because when I am gone well, I am gone. Just like you, I get to do amazing things with my children and because I have a flexible schedule I get to do more than the average 9 to 5 parent. It does tug at the heart when you have to work and can't make everything. The good with the bad huh? I get what you are saying. So, 34 more days of being green and then back to "normal". :)

KarilouMomof2 is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com living in Tempe. Her daughters are 9 and 6.

You'd enjoy it for a few days, and then, you'd go stark raving mad. Sawyer's big enough that he doesn't need (and probably doesn't want) his Mom around 24/7. You'd have to start cooking or baking or do a home-improvement project. There is nothing on TV. You'd find yourself ironing his shorts and t-shirts while watching Lucy re-runs, and drinking wine from a box in the afternoon.

I am not the kind of woman that would have expected to want to be a SAHM. I had a great career, social life, etc and thought that I would naturally want to go back to work, but I didn't. Now, I have a 2 year old, so maybe the Oprah watching happens with older kids?? I certainly don't have the time for that. I do sometimes(probably more often that I would like to admit) wear a ponytail and wear pjs occasionally until late morning. I am BUSY however and I do have a schedule. It may not keep to the same level of stingency that a working mother has, but it is what keeps my household happy and running smoothly. I use my time to teach my child, play, come up with crafts and go on outings that are stimulating for him and break up the monotony for me. I have to go back to work soon, and while I won't say that I don't miss the social aspect of being at work(not to mention a paycheck in my own name), there is nothing about working that makes my soul sing the way my son does when he is covered in fingerpaint or glitter. I guess no matter your choice, there will always be things that make you feel guilty. I say enjoy where you are and if you aren't having fun, then make a new choice. Your children will be happy if you are happy, regardless of whether or not you are working in or out of the home.

I think Karina ...the grass is always greener on the other side...either on the working mom world or SAHM world. ;) One thing I've always tried to remember in life...is make a decision and go with it...don't look back...or 'on the other side'...be happy with the choice you've made and you'll never have regrets. That's the same for both SAHM or working moms. Dont worry the time will pass and things will be back to normal.

LisaMommy is a 38 year old discussion leader for arizonamoms.com from the Paradise Valley/Scottsdale area. Her two boys are ages 9 months and 3 years old.

I agree the grass always appears greener on the other side. My sister and I both work in the art field but she works for a big ad agency and I work from home. Whenever we are together we talk about how we envy each other. She wants to spend more time at home and I kinda miss the comeraderie of working with people.

sure, fine, whatever

I am a stay at home mom of two beautiful daughters. I loved to work back in the day, but I honestly wouldn't trade my life now for my life then. I work full time out of my house and make more money then what I did working outside of my home. It is really nice to be able to watch my children grow and experience life with them. If you would like to know more about what I do just message me at ginawalker911@yahoo.com or you can visit my website http://www.ytb.com/mattwalker I would to share with more mothers who are looking to be a stay at home mom.

I am a SAHM and I LOVE it so much. It is great to be able to stay home with my kids in the summer and have a break while they are in school.. I used to work for a cleaning company for over a year, but after doing 6 houses in ONE day my hands couldn't take it anymore..
I tried MANY Party Planning Companies and so far only 1 has worked out for me.. I am so HAPPY. Now I can make my own hours and be with my family..
I also just started with a brand new company that will launch in August 2008 and I am so EXCITED the comp plan is the best and is so easy where I won't have to do a bunch of parties to make money..
I love doing parties right now, but in the future I want to be able to do parties IF I want to. Does that make sense?
I have two boys ages 11 1/2 & 8 1/2 and my youngest has speak problems so I NEED to be home for him just they need me at his school and for his appointments.

Sorry I am going on and on.. I got carried away :o)
I just joined today and can't wait to meet other SAHM's that also work from home..

I am a SAHM, but summer is hard! If you think many of us have time to lie on the couch and watch Oprah, you have the wrong impression (Dora, I have seen, but no Oprah). Maybe you could with one son old enough to care for himself, but with little ones, there is no rest. Those of you who don't think we rush around have the wrong impression. It is constant motion.

My toe nails too are paintless. I wouldn't trade it, but don't glamourize it either, please. It is hard work, albeit hard work next to my kids.

Lovemy4 is a discussion leader for North Central Phoenix, tired mother of 4 great kids and wife to one great husband.

I was one of those working mom's who thought if only I could stay home, life would be so much less hectic. Up until two years ago I worked full time at a school. The last few years, I had transitioned into a position where I worked throughout the summer. I certainly missed my summer's off, and it was much easier having them off after working throughout the school year. I was lucky enough that in a pinch I could bring my kids to work with me in the summer, although that was a whole new level of stress, and one I tried to avoid at all costs.
I have been fortunate to be able to stay home with the kids the last two years, but the summers have been the craziest times, at least in our house. Maybe it is because my kids are now older but yet not quite driving, but I am home less during the summer than during the school year. Between driving them to tennis, basketball open gyms, appointments, driving classes and various camps of interest (like robotics camp) I am always on the run. A big part of this is due to the gas situation, but because I am not currently working on a full time basis I drive them to their activities and then stay at those locations to minimize expenses.
The other thing that has happened since I am not working in our family I am now doing everything. Taking care of our parents needs as well as our own families needs. I know that most of it is due to my personality and not being able to sit still, but I guess staying at home has made me appreciate what I had at work as well.
I just am trying to live in the moment and cherish the time I have no matter what I am doing.

JuneSlager is a discussion leader for arizonamoms.com, raising three children (ages 15, 14, & 11) in Northeast Phoenix.

Hello! As a SAHM as of October 07, I totally understand where you are coming from. I planned all 3 of my kids to be summer babies so that I could take my 3 month maternity leave during the summer months. It does make a difference for me in that I do not HAVE to be anywhere except during the month of June when I do enroll my two oldest in summer school classes. During the month of July, I am free except the occasional tennis or swim class and Kumon that I run them to. Its fun to be able to go to the library and meet friends at the museums but structure is what it is. We do have a schedule and we do try to stick to it.
You are lucky in that you are able to work from home and so enjoy that while you can. For the moms who posted who say they have friends who are SAHM who sleep in and stay in PJ's...can't say that I am one of them. I shower first thing every day, right after I get home from the gym at 6am every single day (before the kids wake up) and I put on clothes and makeup just as if I was ready to run out the door.

If you were able to be a SAHM in the summer, its a great great beautiful thing but if you are not, that is your choice and I am sure you are enjoying the choice that you made. What I would try to do when I was working was to take long weekends by using some of my vacation time. For example take a half day on Friday, and take Monday off or two half days during the week.

Nevertheless...as long as you are happy, your kids will be happy too so don't be envious...just make it work for the best! :-)

South Mountain Village SAHM of 3 kids ages 13,6, and 1.